


If Only

by icybluepenguin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-10
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-24 20:08:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2594867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icybluepenguin/pseuds/icybluepenguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki summons an illusion of an old lover to comfort him in his cell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve never written anything like this before. I don’t know why this idea stuck in my head. I don’t like making Loki sad… *sigh* It’s also one of the fastest and shortest thing I’ve ever written. I know that fanfic canon has Loki able to make his illusions physical, but in the movies, they always disappear when touched- that’s what I went with for this one. Sorry for the feels :(

_"Don’t tell her I’m here,"_ he had whispered fiercely to Frigga, over the heavy clank of his chains and Odin’s infuriating voice snapping for his attention.   _"Let her think that I am dead.  It is kinder."_

Now, in his cell, this sparse glass-fronted room that was his for eternity… now he let himself think of her.  Her bright, sparkling eyes.  Her bold words and her quiet moans.  Her soft hair in his fingers, her red lips on his cheek.  Loki sank down on the thin mattress on what was supposed to be his bed, forever.  It was unlikely he’d get the chance to trick Thor into letting him out of  _this_  cell, he thought.

She thought that he was dead.  Fallen from the Bifrost, into the black ether.  It was better that way.  She would hate him now, hate what he’d done.  What he’d become.  Her happy, fierce spirit would be appalled at his twisted, tattered soul.  A small sound escaped him.  She could never know he lived.  But he needed her.  He needed her comfort, her body, her warmth to save him from this darkness, lurking all around him, waiting to swallow him entirely.

He had to see her.  He needed to, the way he needed to breathe.  It had been so long- so long since he’d let himself think about her, to remember the way she had felt, how he had felt with her.  It had been easy to avoid her memory in the other places he had been- Thanos’ rock, those weak “cities” on Midgard.  But how could he not think about her here, in Asgard, where they had played? 

He twisted his hand in a complex pattern, conjuring an image of her across the room.  His desire.  His hope.  His love.  Another quick flick of his fingers and the image turned, speaking as she would.

"Loki, you look awful," she said plainly with a hint of exasperation, looking him up and down.  "When was the last time you slept?"

He smiled, but it was wistful.  “I’ve been traveling for a long time, kitten.  I’ve missed you.”  He wanted to touch her, feel her warm skin, her wet mouth.  But the illusion would dissolve if he touched it.  He clenched his hand into a fist.  This had been a bad idea.  He was desperate now not just for her company but for her supple, sweet body, for the release that only she could give him.

She moved closer to him, her hips swaying under her long golden skirt.  “Well, I’m here now.  Why don’t you let me take care of you?” she purred.  “I can help you sleep.”

She was a product of his magic.  She could only say the things he wanted her to.  But oh he wanted…

"Take your clothes off, kitten.  Slowly."

She smiled that mysterious smile she always had when she thought she was going to surprise him.  He loved that smile.  It heralded great things.  He watched her hands skim up over her hips, her ribs, sliding behind her neck and under her hair, spreading her dark long locks over her bare shoulders.  Her hands came back forward, splayed over her breasts.

He knew how they would feel.  He remembered their weight in his palms, heavy and warm, her pert little nipples hard in his fingers as he rolled and pinched them.  How she would whine and arch her back until he took one in his mouth, sucking hard, his tongue swiping around it in firm strokes.  Her satisfied groan when he pulled just right.

Her head tipped back as the front of her dress slipped down.  His fingers knew her skin like his own.  Soft, smooth, pebbling with goosebumps if he puffed his breath on her ribs.  Her slim neck under his lips, her shuddered gasp at the nip of his teeth.  He adored that sound, adored coaxing it from her- that sound, even just the memory of it, sent shivers down his spine, never failing to arouse him. 

As she swung her hips, her skirt falling to pool at her feet, he undid his flies, inhaling sharply when he touched himself, a surge of blood following his touch.  He wrapped his fingers loosely around his shaft and gave a languid, gentle stroke while he drank in her naked body.

"Oh you are beautiful," he breathed, conjuring a couch for her to lie on.  "Spread your legs, kitten.  Let me see you."

"Is that how you want to play tonight, Loki?"  Her voice was pitched low, seductive, enticing.  Her delicate hands slid down her sides, over the swell of her hips, tempting him.  "Do you really think you can watch me fuck myself and not join in and finish the job?"

He licked his lips, his mouth dry.  She knew exactly how to drive him crazy.  “Yes,” he rasped.  He would have to.

With a doubtful, chiming laugh, she draped herself over the couch, giving him a marvelous view of her quim.  Her fingers brushed over the dark curls there, combing, petting.  She purred under her own touch.  Her finger dipped between her folds, moving slowly up and down the length.  “Loki, I’m so wet,” she moaned.  “So wet for you, love, come here to me.”  Her other hand cupped her breast, squeezing.

He groaned at the sight of her, spread out for him like that, touching herself so expertly.  He clenched his free hand in the blanket to keep from throwing himself at the illusion.  He wanted so badly to take her, to drive himself into her molten depths and lose himself there.

“Keep going, kitten.  Fuck yourself for me, show me how I make you feel.”

Her hips canted, her legs opening wider, and she slid her finger home inside her.  A breathy moan escaped her lips.  He used to make her make that sound.  He could still taste her, remember her cunt slippery and slick under his tongue.  The feel of her firm little clit between his lips, sucking it, laving it with attention, with adoration.  Plunging his tongue inside her, drinking her, savoring her.  Cupping her tight round ass, tilting her up to devour her.  Basking in her tiny gasps, the way her thighs clenched around his head, her small fingers clutching his hair, pulling him where she wanted.  Sometimes he would go.  Sometimes he wouldn’t, letting the prickling pain of her tugs wash over him and spur him on to drive her mad with teasing.

He swiped his palm in the fluid dripping from his cock, spreading it down over the smooth skin, hissing.  He could taste her on his tongue, sugar and salt and sex, as he watched her pump her fingers- three now- into herself, whimpers and mewls floating to him on the air atop the wet sounds of her thrusts.  Her thighs tensed with each plunge, arching her back up to go deeper, harder.  She plucked at her hard nipple, rolling and twisting it the way he would have.

“That’s it, kitten,” he growled, his hand on his cock matching her rhythm, squeezing hard to mimic her tight, searing heat.  She was so hot around him, gripping him hard enough to drive him mad if he let her, quivering with the impact of his cock.  “I’d take you just like that- hard, your legs spread wide, up over my shoulders while I drive into you.  My mouth at your ear, you love it when I bite your ear, don’t you…  Can you hear my breath, faster, harsher- I’m so close, kitten…”

She whined, her eyes squeezed shut, her face tortured and sheened with sweat.  Her other hand slid from her breast down over her mound and found her clit, slippery and swollen and beckoning to him.  “Me too, Loki.  You feel so good... pounding into me... So strong and hot... Harder, love, harder... I… Loki, Loki-!”

“Yes, oh yes,” he panted, thrusting into his fist, staring avidly at her as she arched, a silent scream caught in her throat, spasming around her fingers buried deep in her cunt.  He pumped himself faster, feeling her convulsions, her body strung taut beneath him, her hands clutching his back in a vain attempt to stay grounded.  He cried out, stuttering, shuddering, spilling on to the floor with a loud grunted whimper.  His hand slowed, milking the last of his pleasure, the way he would have rocked into her at the end, while covering her blissful face in tender kisses.  He closed his eyes, basking in afterglow.

When he opened them, she was gone.

He collapsed to his side, turning to the wall and curling into a ball around the feeling in his chest.  He felt empty, hollow, shattered.  He missed her even more now, more than anything else he’d lost in his journey.  More than home, more than family, more than his very identity.  He could have had her.  If only he hadn’t been so lost.  If only he had listened to her.  If only he hadn’t… 

If only…


End file.
